It's a luscious mix of words and tricks;

My name is Alice, I am 18 and I had lived in England my entire life...until I temporarily moved to Scotland to study. That's it really. Well aren't I the interesting one?

It is a simple dilemma:

Can’t be bothered packing for London, can’t be bothered tidying room for friends’ arrival on Wednesday.

ERGO: Haven’t started packing for London, haven’t started tidying room for friends’ arrival.

Oh dear dear me. :(