It's a luscious mix of words and tricks;

My name is Alice, I am 18 and I had lived in England my entire life...until I temporarily moved to Scotland to study. That's it really. Well aren't I the interesting one?

Case in point:

Last night I went to Glaswegian boy’s room since I hadn’t seen him all day for one reason or another.

I fell asleep on his bed.

*Facepalm*