Uni times - 1.
So this morning was my morning to finish my Mediaeval History essay…actually, I lie, Friday night was the night I was going to finish said essay but I got convinced to go out instead. We started the night in my room, drinking wine and listening to nostalgic song from our youth, then went on to the Hallowe’en common room party, where most people looked at our group with a querying ‘why are you not wearing a costume?’ look, whilst we glanced back with a ‘we’re just here for the free booze’ stare. After a sufficient amount of green punch, and a ‘text me later’ from the guy I’m seeing, we moved onto my riend’s boyfriend’s academic dad’s house party, where a large amount of gin and tonic from a beer glass was consumed in a short space of time. Ironically, the topic of Mediaeval history popped up, as did the topic of Tom Waits, and I was high fived for being from Yorkshire. Later a banana from our halls turned up with his friends in tow and we decided to leave when one of them got a pack of cards out. I was casually heckled at the door and we moved onto the union.
Like most drunken nights, or most nights in general, we didn’t stay long in the union. Glasgow boy turned up and towed me to the Lizard, a crappy ‘nightclub’, with his drama buddies, whom I had never met before. Whilst I got money out, Glasgow boy had a ‘stern’ talk with the banana, who had turned up outside the union and had heckled me some more. To be honest I was too drunk to give a shit, but it was sweet, I guess.
At the lizard….stuff happened…to cut a long story short, drama kids like to make out with whomever is present. And the transvestite Lizard DJ likes to comment when an almost-orgy breaks out on the dance floor. Again, as par with most nights, my academic brother were abandoned after a while, when they realised we probably wouldn’t stop dancing/making out for some time. We were left in a corner, being gawped at by a bunch of middle aged men, so we decided leaving may be for the best.
We got back to our halls in surprisingly good time, particularly since I had to keep stopping because you know, free ooze can hit you like that sometimes. When we got back, I went to pee, and when I came back Glasgow boy was talking to a drunk girl, looking for a guy. We decided we would help her in her horny quest to find said guy and subsequently ran away when we deposited her in his room, with a bewildered look on his face. We went back to his but after a while I left. Tomorrow morning I would have to go back to his to pick up my shoes and my necklace.
At this point I was full bent on going back to my room and sleeping off the nausea that had begun to emanate from the cocktail of cheap booze that had been consumed that night, but horny zombie girl had been kicked out and was still in the foyer, but this time with an audience. Some more people appeared, and we ended up back in the common room where the evening had begun. A cone hat was placed on my head and one thing led to another and I was running up the corridor to the study room with a boy I recognised but did not know. We crashed out in the study room for a while, but were captured by the residence sub warden, who didn’t seem to care too much when she recognised the boy I was with as a guy from the hall committee.
We sat therefor a while, talking about relationships, him casually dropping in that he was in an ‘open relationship’. Both of us being drunk, we ended up back in my room, me painting his nails green and chatting. We also established at some point that his girlfriend actually lives next door to me. When he left, he went to his girlfriend’s room, opened the window and leaned out to knock on MY window. After that I closed the curtains and went to sleep. The next day he informed me [for some reason] that a threesome happened to have occured a wall away from where I was passed out on my bed.
Naturally, I woke up the next day with a terrible hangover. I was dragged along to see The Lion King 3D in my pyjamas, and came back to eat toasties and be heckled some more by Glasgow boy’s friends. It was later established that the horny girl harrassing the sober boy managed to kick her out by wheeling her out of the room on a computer chair.Our antics at the Lizard [well…the drama people’s antics] were the main source of conversation at play rehearsals yesterday morning. Now that my neighbour knows I exist she has agreed to keep her sexual antics down a little.
Now I’m sitting in my room in my pjs, hoping my other neighbour will get off skype soon and stop being so loud so I can get some of this essay finished before leaving for Edinburgh tonight. This probably isn’t going to happen.
Well, at least I have an interesting reason behind being issued a ‘fail’ on my first history essay.
